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'It bores me'

The cat and mouse game is finally over: Cheryl Cole has categorically slammed reports that she will be returning as a judge on UK X Factor. Using the celebrity communication platform de jour, Cheryl tweeted: 'X factor was a great experience and time in my life and career but is now part of my past .. Please letsmoveonnow. new news pls Zzzzz *yawns*.' Translation: you had your chance Simon.

Louis Walsh in the meantime offered the Geordie starlet a rather feeble olive branch, saying, 'She could be back. I’m not saying she definitely will but I’d love to see her.' On a roll at a Brits afterparty, Louis also let slip that he 'regretted' Cheryl's surprise sacking from the US X Factor, because she 'was a good friend.'

Simon has been equally vocal about the possibility of her return saying he would 'love to have her back' on the UK desk, despite sending her packing only 4 hours into filming on US Factor, blaming her Geordie accent.

A quick glance at the current UK female presenting landscape tells us that Simon is probably in a flap and casting around for the best available option. Now Kelly Rowland is off he needs another big name to fill the diva sized void, and one capable of drumming up precious column inches too. That leaves Cheryl.

Without La Cole on board, we predict that X Factor will begin a long, slow slide into oblivion. Are cracks appearing on Planet Simon?

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