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In the stars

Horoscopes, star signs and astrology in general are all a load of superstitious rubbish, cooked up by cynical exploitative con-artists and kept popular by the human need to make order out of chaos, pretending that something out there is guiding them. It’s also a great way of checking out people’s perceptions of themselves compared with the actual reality, and thankfully it’s not just us plebs who get caught up in the nonsense, celebs do too!

Check out Britney Spears for instance, who has apparently enquired about having 80s TV horoscope reader Russell Grant give her a reading. Why she would go to him, or have even have heard of him, hasn’t yet been ascertained, but hold tight kids, as we’re on the case. Maybe his loud jumpers could be seen from the States. ‘Britney has asked Russell for readings in the past and really values his advice,’ said some source to The Sun.

‘I got an email from Britney Spears' office,’ said the portly former TV Star, who is currently appearing in ITV’s bizarre reality show Kitchen Burnout. ‘Apparently she wants a reading. I need to check out its validity.’ Hang on, surely if you’ve given her readings before you wouldn’t need to check out the validity, would you? Curiouser and curiouser...

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