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I'm calling in a UAV

In the olden days if you caught a mate having it off with your ex-girlfriend, you’d either say ‘why should I care, I’m not going out with her anymore’ like a normal human being, or simply offer the former friend outside for a good old-fashioned straightener. Not anymore though - namby pamby footballers of today have taken to taking out their rage via online gaming.

Take Wayne Bridge and John Terry for instance: these two had an almighty bust up over Venessa Perroncel, and instead of trading right-handers in a car park in front of a baying, bloodthirsty mob, could – according to The Sun – be sorting out their differences in the online arena of Call of Duty Modern Warefare 2.

‘The lads take the game really seriously,’ said a source, ‘Sometimes there's up to eight players involved. Each unit communicate through their headsets and discuss battle plans. There's real shouting and screaming going on.'

‘Online gaming is the biggest social event between footballers - more so than going to clubs.’

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