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I'm a (desperate) celeb

'I'm a celebrity get me out of here' debuted last night, with the usual festival of slime, crawly creatures and D-list celebs desperately trying to win back the public's affection.

XFactor's Stacey Solomon drew the short straw, and was forced to consume a kangaroo's penis. Stacey garnered laughs after exclaiming, 'That's the ugliest penis I've ever seen. His penis looks smaller than mine.' While 'Doctor' Gillian McKeith admitted, 'I’m finding it very hard. I have a serious phobia to the point I could faint if I see a spider. I feel like I’m having a heart attack. It’s like a serious panic attack when I see them.'

Meanwhile, the show's producers claim that they've pulled out the stops to make this year's 'I'm a Celeb', the most disgusting in the history of rubbish reality TV shows, 'I don't want to spoil the surprise, but one trial is a loving homage to a great scene from a classic British film starring Michael Caine and it features a 75metre high rig. It's going to be brilliant. I can also give you a couple of names of new trials happening this year, but I'll let your imagination do the work on trying to figure out what happens in them. The first is called Creepy Crawly. Another is called Dreaded Digger and we've also got an intense, high-pressure underwater game where you might bump into a crocodile or two.'

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