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'I was a big time pillock' admits Mark Croft

If Mark Croft ran to the tabloids to change the public perception of him as a free loading idiot, then, sadly it hasn't quite worked. 'Crofty' confided to the The News of the World at the weekend about his split with Kerry Katona, to 'put the record straight', i.e. deny that he's a drug dealer who has lived off his wife's money. Well, he did that bit, but then spent most of the interview bragging about how much he wasted on flash cars.

Mark said: 'I've had the life of Riley - but I was a big time pillock. All in all I reckon I have lost £200,000 on cars. When I changed the Ferrari 430 Spider for a Porsche 911 Turbo I lost £35,000 within four weeks. Why? Because I didn't like the Ferrari. I spent £135,000 on it and it was c**p. I couldn't get it up car park ramps. I couldn't get out at Sainsbury's because it was too wide. My Lamborghini cost £110,000 and couldn't get over speed bumps.'

Yes, Mark - all things considered, we think pillock is a pretty fair assessment.

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