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I Wan Simon Cowell

Time to scrub your mind's eye clean, people. Weird-looking fashion victim (but quite nice by all accounts actually) Gok Wan has decided to spill the beans on just how much he wants to get down and dirty with Simon Cowell. Nice image, eh?

'I can't help myself,' he said, while the Mirror's showbiz journos collectively winced. 'I haven't met him, but I don't know what I'd do if I did. I don't care about his high-waisted trousers.

'And no, I wouldn't like to dress him - I'd like to undress him! He's a powerful, strong man and it would be nice to spend a little bit of time with him.'

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