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I am a deadly distraction. Fact

If only stalling on a hill-start was the biggest danger posed by Kelly Brook. The model's killer curves, according to the Daily Mail are a deadly hazard. Adverts of her in the nip with only a pair of well placed Reeboks to save her modesty are being plastered up all over the UK. What's more, they're not going up in safe places like the tube, where people can happily gawp without causing a pile-up, they're going up on busy motorways.

The 40 foot posters of buxom Kelly pose such a danger to public safety that an expert from the Institute of Advanced Motorists has been wheeled out to take a closer look. Sorry, pass serious comment. Peter Rodger, Head of Driving Standards at IAM warns: 'The fact that most men remember the 'Hello boys' Wonderbra advert indicates how distracting roadside adverts can be. Some will be more distracting than others, and some will be placed where the effect is particularly significant. They all add to the clutter pulling your visual attention away from the road and adding to the information you need to process as you drive along.'

Translation: his eyes have officially popped out of their tiny sockets and he's bumped the car in front. Damn you Kelly.

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