Skinny bilinky Cheryl Cole is dropping the pounds at lightning speed since news of 'her Ash' playing away broke. Apparently she's hardly eaten a proper meal all week. Which is enough to put a wee scrap like the Chezmonster in serious peril given her already elfin frame. While the rest of us turn to booze, fags, giant boxes of Pringles, multi packs of chocolate hob nobs, family size tubs of Haagen Daas (we could go on), the ladies of 'Sleb-Ville' it seems, turn to thin air.

Is it terribly mean to think a bit of heartache could be the perfect excuse for celebrity gals to shave off a few stray pounds? All the while looking pretty and fragile and forlorn. Kate Moss post Pete, Kate Bowsorth post Orlando, Posh post Rebecca Loos, Eva Longoria post 'that model'. Million dollar starvation victims if ever we saw.

Ashley Cole on the other hand has been pictured out and about looking well fed and rosy cheeked. Apart from a nasty case of chicken legs he certainly doesn't look like he's been skipping hot dinners.

So come on Chezzer. Get thee down the battlecruiser like the hardy Geordie we all know you are and fill up on pork scratchings. Thinness might be the ultimate celebrity girl goal. But is it really any fun?