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How to get thin without lifting a finger

Is it terribly mean to think a bit of heartache could be the perfect excuse for celebrity gals to shave off a few stray pounds? All the while looking pretty and fragile and forlorn. Kate Moss post Pete, Kate Bowsorth post Orlando, Posh post Rebecca Loos, Eva Longoria post 'that model'. Million dollar starvation victims if ever we saw.
Ashley Cole on the other hand has been pictured out and about looking well fed and rosy cheeked. Apart from a nasty case of chicken legs he certainly doesn't look like he's been skipping hot dinners.
So come on Chezzer. Get thee down the battlecruiser like the hardy Geordie we all know you are and fill up on pork scratchings. Thinness might be the ultimate celebrity girl goal. But is it really any fun?