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Hello San Diego, I'm Simon Cowell?

Every good telly-lord needs a top notch actor to play them in the inevitable biopic, and who better to immortalise Mr Meedjah in the annals of film history than Ron Burgundy. Yes San Diego, the world's smoothest Anchorman is willing to step up to the plate. If Ron could speak, he would do so through his mouthpiece, Mr Will Ferrell:

'Like Simon, Ron was the biggest thing on TV, loved himself and had that whole irresistible middle-aged man thing going on. I could play Simon, but to be honest Simon could play Ron. They are like long-lost twin brothers separated at birth."

His pitch continued: 'Simon Cowell and Ron Burgundy are pretty much the same role, apart from Simon being ruder. It would be pretty fun getting into character as well.I would have to walk along the street and say, 'Hey, you're too fat to be a star' or go to a concert and shout out to the artist, 'Never gonna happen.' I could also probably get whoever is making the movie to pay for me to get Simon's teeth done. How great would it be - to have a smile like that? It literally shines when he opens his mouth. I would become irresistible.'

Oh Ron, you're already irresistible. Unfortunately, it's never going to happen: Will was just having larf. If anyone plays Mr Nasty, it should be Cheese Diddy, preferably on the shopping channel.

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