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Heather Mills, internet police

If you thought the only policeman on the internet was Google, then you'd be wrong. Another, much less likely character has taken to spring cleaning the world wide cobwebs and that person is Heather Mills.

The world's most famous divorce jackpot winner, has claimed that instead of devoting the rest of her natural life to doing good, sorry, ranting at the press about how hard done by she is, she'll be turning her attention to clearing up the internet of all the not very nice stories that have ever been written about her. No small order.

“I stopped reading stories about myself a number of years ago. I just thought ‘this is just a waste of time’, but recently I’ve been going through the internet, clearing up rumours. I’ve got five apologies so far from the British media and I’ve got many thousands to go. I plan to clear the internet so my daughter doesn’t read all the lies when she’s 12” said Mucca.

Little Beatrice is 5. Which leaves a mere 7 years for Heather to go about her online spring cleaning. Good luck with that!

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