Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris: still together, just not in public

Dreadful news hot off the wire. Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin will 'never do a red carpet together'. One two three, ahhhhh. The salad munchers have always avoided being photographed as a couple and Gwynny recently told the public why. It's a simpler reason than you'd think: "It doesn't behoove us to be a public couple."

Gwyneth also told Elle Magazine: "we've never ever walked down a red carpet together, we never will. If people think that that means we're not together, then – ha ha ha! – so be it." That clears that up then.

In other Coldplay news, Joe Satriani, the guitarist who has accused Coldplay of ripping off Vida La Vida from one of his songs, has vowed to slap the band with a plagiarism lawsuit live at the Grammys.

Satriani's lawyer said: "We have warned their British lawyers that we have hired a fleet of process servers lined up to dog the band everywhere they go this weekend in the hopes of serving them."

Best to keep off the red carpet afterall then....

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