Gillian McKeith's jungle collapse

'I'm a celebrity get me out of here' - the nation's annual celebration of D-list celebrities eating animal's rude bits and humiliating themselves - took a turn for the dramatic last night, when Gillian McKeith collapsed after being voted to carry out the third task in a row. The trial was named the 'Unfairground', dubbed the 'worst carnival in the world'.

When the result was read out, comic Dom Joly shouted at the British voting public, 'You should be ashamed of yourselves.' Doc Bob McCarron said 'I am treating Gillian. She had an anxiety attack but she is fine.' An insider claimed, 'Bosses were terrified Gillian would ruin the live trial and so hastily decided on the rule change to make sure they had something to fill the air time.' While an ITV spokesman insisted, 'We have never had to do this before, but this rule only applies for the live trial.'

ITV have promised to refund money to those sadistic voters who were keen to see Gillian eat some more kangaroo unmentionables. People of Britain - you should be ashamed...

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