Get me a semi-famous wedding DJ!

Weddings, who'd have one? If it's not getting in flap over table arrangements or the shape of your egg and cress sandwiches (triangle - to our horror - is 'out', square, 'in'), it's auditioning wedding DJs who never quite cut the mustard when it comes to intentional cheesiness. Enter stage left, Dane Bowers - a one man pop-machine so cheesy he'd cheddar the soles off Adam Sandler's Wedding Singer any day of the week.

Jordan has enlisted the help of her ex to help get the party going following her second set of nuptials to tim-nice-but-dim Alex Reid. The attention seeking pair got married for the first time in Vegas. But it happened so quickly - and without steady, climatic PR build up, that the world didn't take much notice. A second round of 'yeahyeah, I dos' have been pencilled in and the UK media are on standby. That is, of course, if Dane stops playing hard to get. He says: 'They've asked me to DJ at their UK blessing, it depends on the date and whether I'm free, but it would be good.'

Translation - depends how much publicity's in it for me. We want to know who'll be working the cloakroom - Peter Andre?

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