Geri and her brand new man

When it comes to stuffing a feller in the Man Bag and keeping him in there 'fore he escapes, Geri Halliwell's never had much luck. So it was heartwarming to hear things are finally looking up for Ginge in the man department.

Then we saw Ivan 'Flipz' Velez, and two not very good things immediately sprang to mind. A Tesco value Lenny Kravitz - and a boy on his way to his confirmation! The stripey tie, the Burton's suit, the plastickey sunnies - all hallmarks of a man kept at the back of the stage - for very good reason.

Shacking up with a backing dancer is one of the oldest tricks in the book, and a delicacy which has gone down like a poo sandwich for the likes of Mel B, Britney, and even J-Lo in the past. Backing dancers are the bridesmaids who were never meant to be brides, and plucking them out of their natural habitat to make stars of them will only ever lead to tears.

So be cuurful Gezzy! Have a ball, take him on a few shopping sprees, but when Flippy starts getting used to the limelight and thinking his backing moves are better than your centre stage pirouettes, don't say we didn't warn you!

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