From 'loathe boat to love boat'

If, like us, you've been suffering tears and sleepless nights since the news broke that Simon Cowell's exes, Sinitta and the less famous one who may have been a Page 3 girl (we think she's called Jackie), were at war, then fret not. Put away your hankies, for they have made friends, and a statement has been released confirming this happy fact. Apparently, Cowell was sick of their arguments, and so set sail on the seven seas in a bid to bring them closer.

A 'hilarious' source told The Mirror, 'Simon dearly loves both Jackie and Sinitta but was fed-up with their petty, school girl arguments. He reckoned enough was enough and decided to put them together in a confined space. It was a case of sink or swim and they had no choice but to talk. Luckily it’s all gone to plan. They had a long chat and are friends again. They’ve been laughing, giggling... and plotting against Simon. He almost wishes he hadn’t bothered. What started off as a loathe boat is now a love boat. It's all going swimmingly and the whole group is having a great time.'

From 'loathe boat to love boat', all going 'swimmingly'? Is Cowell employing Keith Chegwin as his spokesman?

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