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'Free at last...free at last!'

So, you've just been fired from your $2 million an episode award-winning show, your career is in freefall (but on the plus side, you've garnered a few hundred thousand Twitter followers). What's a guy to do? Why, stand on a balcony, wielding a machete screaming lines from Martin Luther King's iconic speech, that's what.

According to reports from TMZ, after news broke that Charlie Sheen had been fired, the actor stood on a balcony with his arms wrapped round one of his porn star girlfriends, and shouted to the gathering crowd below, 'Free at last ... free at last', while drinking from a bottle labled 'Tiger Blood.' Sheen was fired by Warner Brothers after months of bizarre behaviour, which culminated in him launching a verbal assult on one of 'Two and a Half Men's producers. The company released a statement saying, 'After careful consideration, Warner Bros. Television has terminated Charlie Sheen's services on Two and a Half Men effective immediately.' They allege that the actor, '...engaged in dangerously self-destructive conduct and appears to be very ill'.

Sheen released a counter statement saying, 'This is very good news. They continue to be in breach, like so many whales. It is a big day of gladness at the Sober Valley Lodge because now I can take all of their bazillions, never have to look at whatshiscock again and I never have to put on those silly shirts for as long as this warlock exists in the terrestrial dimension.'

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