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Finally... REVENGE

Remember One True Voice? No, of course you don’t, no-one does outside of fans of rubbish boy-bands. Here’s a little refresher: back in 2002, when Girls Aloud were winning the female side of Popstars: The Rivals, One True Voice were the male winners who proceeded to get soundly humped in the battle for that year’s Christmas number one. Mainly that was because their song, Sacred Trust, was an absolute pile of pants, a recording so bad that it almost seemed that they’d been hung out to dry by pop moguls keen on pushing Girls Aloud to the toppermost of the poppermost.

In the intervening years there have been few chances for the One True Voice boys to get their own back, what with Girls Aloud basically ruling the world and all that. But Cheryl Cole’s disastrous will-she-won’t mime saga and subsequent car crash performance on X Factor has finally given Jamie Shaw the chance to stick the boot in he’s ached for, for seven whole years.

‘I thought Cheryl's performance was poor,’ he said, in the cattiest manner possible. ‘She looked really nervous and lost on that big stage. With the higher notes, she strained a bit and you could tell that in her face.

‘There was no oomph in her performance. It was quite flat. She has a brilliant recording voice, but live it really isn't working.’ Let it all out, Jamie my boy.

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