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Elephant gatecrashes Branson wedding

There’s always one drunk at a wedding (apart from in Glasgow when there’s usually at least 12). Some uncle or great aunt overdoes the sherry and champagne and picks a fight with someone from the other family, and it all ends in scuffles tears and shouts of "leave it Gary, e’s not worth it."

Usually a quiet word or a firm helping hand from two of the burlier cousins sorts it out. That wasn’t possible at the wedding of Sir Richard Branson’s son Sam, when a drunken gatecrasher could not be persuaded to go quietly. You just can’t reason with a rampaging elephant out of his head on fermenting marula fruit.

Sam, being a Branson, was celebrating his nuptials with Isabella Calthorpe at a South African game reserve rather than somewhere sensible like Croydon Registry Office. The elephant, unused to society weddings, believed it was acceptable to turn up very late without a tie, scoff the wedding cake and smash up the tables and chairs.

Happily, by the time Jumbo made his entrance, most of the guests, including Kate Winslet, her husband Ned Rocknroll and a couple of spare princesses, Eugenie and Beatrice, had retired. Most onlookers treated the p***ed pachyderm as extra entertainment. "It was hilarious," one guest told The Sun’s chief foreign correspondent (who had presumably decided that the Branson wedding was a bigger story than the Chavez funeral). "He was really enjoying himself. He didn’t want to leave and couldn’t get enough of the cake."

At least Sam and Isabella will have an amusing memory of their wedding. "Remember that loud attention-grabber with the gleaming tusks Sam?" "Yeah, I know, Dad can be a bit embarrassing, but what about that elephant?”

For those who want a taste of what that elephant was having, the Amarula liqueur is available from most major supermarkets. Tastes a bit like Baileys. Drink in moderation.

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