Using language that wouldn't sound out of place in a Mexican soap opera or a chick lit book, sources at the Mighty Boosh Festival say Pete Doherty 'detests Johnny Borrell with every fibre of his being" and Borrell in turn thinks Doherty is a 'moron.'

So why the hyperbole? Because Noel Fielding mistakenly asked both BabyShambles and Razorlight to play at his Mighty Boosh Festival - quite forgetting for a second that the pair cannot bear nay sight nor smell of each other.

Pete and Johnny have hated each other ever since Pete was forced to sack Borrell as guitarist for The Libertines, due to Borrell's tardiness and non committal attitude to turning up to gigs. Johnny denies ever being in the band. Doherty also branded Borrell "a poisonous snake" after headbutting him at the 2005 Leeds Festival - a scuffle which ended by Johnny wrestling a flailing Pete to the floor.

So Pete has done the decent thing and pulled out of the Mighty Boosh Festival, leading speculators to believe it's because he's worried Borrell might take him out again. Question of the day - who's harder, Borrell, Doherty, or our granny? She's dead. Answers on a postcard.