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Dita von Teese: I will never s**g Russell Brand

Russell Brand scooped the gong for best stand-up at the British Comedy Awards, but it looks like he won't be getting to have a go on burlesque queen Dita von Teese.

The celebrity swordsman has publicly talked about his chances of bedding the 36-year-old dancer, but Marilyn Manson's ex-Missus told reporters at the comedy awards: "I will not be s******g Russell Brand."

Von Teese revealed that she had received a number of phone calls from Brand, but decided not to answer. "They had it all set up in the press that we already did, so I thought I might as well not bother. I can totally handle guys like that."

Brand was unable to attend the awards ceremony on Friday night, but made an acceptance speech via video link-up. The 33-year-old comic dedicated his gong to Jonathon Ross who pulled out of presenting the show following the Sachs-gate controversy.

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