Cher Lloyd: not a bean

We’ve read some gibberish from celebrities in our time, but Will.i.am’s latest outburst in favour of Cher Lloyd has to win some sort of prize. The pop svengali has already told of how much potential he thinks she has, but now he’s using an analogy (about beans and peanuts) that is so strained it could be our post-Christmas dinner trousers. Just take a look and try to decipher it yourselves.

‘To me, Cher is like running with apples and oranges,’ wibbled Will. ‘It's like apples and coffee beans. It ain't even the same thing. You can make apple juice with apples but there is only one thing you can do with a coffee bean, make coffee.

‘Whoever got that first coffee bean and said, 'I want to make coffee out of it', is a visionary. That person had to walk in and say, 'You know what, I want to make a drink out of this'. Because when you see a coffee bean you just don't know what it is because it ain't a bean and it ain't a peanut.

‘So the person who turned it into coffee is a visionary and he's forgotten because you don't even know who it was. But we always drink coffee now. Think about this sh*t. When you first saw a coffee bean, right, you were like, 'This ain't no bean and this ain't no peanut'.’

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