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Every now and again we look at a picture of Lewis Hamilton and think, you jammy git, how did you manage to snag the best one out of the Pussycat Dolls? Someone should let your tires down, or scowl at you enviously at the fiendishly expensive bars in which you no doubt drink. But then we sink into a void of inadequacy, and give up. Oh, the envy! The pain of coveting thy neighbour’s ox!

Sometimes however, we remember that Nicole Scherzinger is a woman, and like all women she can’t help but blab a load of old potentially incriminating nonsense at anyone with a pair of ears. It’s times like these that we thank the lord we’re not sharing a bed with one of the most beautiful women on earth and bathing in money like Scrooge McDuck. Times like when she tells the press that her bloke likes to regularly break the speed limit when driving. That must be really annoying, especially when the might of road safety group RoadCross come crashing down on him.

‘Public figures should be conscious that they are role models and adopt exemplary driving behaviour,’ they whispered, feebly‘For this reason we are asking for Mr Hamilton to be sanctioned for his driving habits.’ Look at the mess you’ve gotten him into, Nicole. Unbelievable.

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