Bruno reveals all

See how the Bruno PR is being ramped up? Just like yesterday there's a story about everyone's favourite Austrian fashionista, only this time there's more opportunity for juicy comedy quotage. So here's what he has to say to his fans in GQ magazine.

On whether manscaping is Ok: 'It’s more zan okay; it is most essential. Be careful if you do it yourself, though—yesterday ich tried to self-wax mein arschenhaller und glued meinself to ze bed. Manscaping ist important, but not as crucial as getting regular anal bleaching. If Brüno didn’t get his schmutziger arschenhaller bleached twice a month, his shtinker vould resemble Dizzy Gillespie during a trumpet solo. In Austria anal bleaching ist considered so important zat it’s paid for by ze state. In fact, you cannot run for office if you don’t have a vhite arschwitz. Indeed, ex-chancellor Kurt Waldheim vas elected on ze back of a prishtine anus. Zere are added benefits to getting ze bleaching—on my last session, mein beautician, Klaus, found ze long-lost head of a David Beckham action figure up zere.'

On how to deal with unsightly body hair: Brüno was the first Austrian ever to have chemo purely for ze purpose of hair removal. It really is ze perfect solution for unvanted vhiskers—und not only zat, ze weight-loss benefits due to ze womiting it causes are amazing! If you’re struggling to find a doc who’ll give you ein prescription for zis, call min—you can find him in ze Vienna Yellow Pages, his name’s Oskar Mengele. He does other services, too—he just gave mein godson Florian lipo for his sixth birthday!

On what his daily clothes uniform would be: Sadly, the glory days of ze Austrian uniform vere sixty-five years ago

And finally, what to wear to impress a bride: If Brüno vas about to be married to a voman, I’d be vearing a noose.

United Kingdom - Excite Network Copyright ©1995 - 2022