Brand blames fame for Perry split

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Fame, commitment issues, idiocy and poor beard hygiene were the contributing factors in the Russell Brand-Katy Perry split, the comedian has confirmed. Oh, wait, closer reading reveals it was just the first two. In an interview with Esquire, Brand was candid about the failure of his marriage.

"Some of it's the fame, but I think getting married is - you've got a whole other person that you've got to make as important as you." That was always going to a problem for a narcissist like Brand. He also had the awkward business of monogamy to contend with.

"When I'm in a relationship I'm diligently monogamous and stick to the principles agreed on within that relationship," he said. "You've got to. But it's going to be hard if I go into a monogamous relationship. I live a life where I have a lot of freedom, so if I meet someone and I go, 'Right let's be monogamous', that's a f**king change." So, to summarise, monogamous until somebody interesting catches his eye.

Since the split with Perry, Brand has been seen with a host of women, a short-lived dalliance with Geri Halliwell perhaps being the most surprising. Brand admits that the womanising is a trait that he finds difficult to overcome. "I've given over too much of my life to its pursuit. And I've probably harmed other people, by being selfish."

Brand suggested that he would quite like to get married and settle down, but maturity still seems quite a long way out of reach. Even career success can't distract him from an attractive female form, it seems. "This is the realisation of a childhood dream - my hero, the great artist Morrissey, affirming and praising my work. But while he's talking, a girl with big tits walks past in the background, and I immediately look at her."

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