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Bez behind bars

The Happy Mondays' famous maraca wielding mascot, Bez, has been jailed after assulting his ex-girlfriend, and ignoring a community order to carry out 100 hours of unpaid work. Bez's frankly insane performance in court, where he defended himself, raised more that a couple of eyebrows.

According to The Sun Bez ranted at the judge, 'I am completely innocent and refuse to be found guilty. I will not recognise any sentence you give me.' Having been handed a restraining order he replied, 'Bothered. I'm going to appeal and take this to a real court.' His parting words to the court as he was led off to the slammer were, 'Victory is in my grasp.'

This should be seen as a warning to any maraca-shaking side kick currently in a band - reality is hard work after years of copious drug taking and instrument holding...

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