Ashley's gone dogging

Cheryl Cole’s brother has chucked in his two penny’s worth at Ashley Cole and his pathological infidelity, expressing his indignation that the Chelsea defender cheated on his sister with ‘absolute dogs’. He also said that he would 'probably be in jail' if he had gone down to see Ashley. Because of course, if he had bedded some straight-up hotties then it wouldn’t have been as bad, would it Biffah?

‘It was such a shock because everything appeared to be good,’ said Biff.. sorry, Andrew Tweedy to the Sun. ‘He had too much opportunity. But he's cheated on a gorgeous woman with absolute dogs. I was fuming. I am absolutely devastated for Cheryl. I was shocked. Why would he want to do that and spoil what they had?

‘He has done it too many times now. What's that old saying? ‘You can fool me once, but you'll not fool me twice.’ She has already forgiven him and given him chances but I don't think he's got anymore get out of jail free cards left.’ That has to be a world record for platitudes, doesn’t it?

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