Another day, another Noel Gallagher soundbite
In Noel Gallagher's recent interview for a Dutch TV show (awkward to the point of unwatchable) he couldn't fathom why people would want his opinion on anything. Then he reconsidered and surmised the reason they want it is because he's not afraid of giving the answers everyone else is thinking but are too wet to say - i.e the truth. Having looked at today's diatribe on Danni Minogue and the X Factor, he's probably right.
According to Noel, not only does the X Factor have "absolutely nothing to do with music and everything to do with TV", the judges (actually just Dannii Minogue) are essentially pointless.
"If somebody is dangling this carrot of 'fame and fortune' in front of a check-out girl from Barnsley who can sing like Britney Spears then they're going to go for it. But it seems to bring on instant mental illness. You're going in at the top, with a number one that sells 750,000 or whatever and you've got someone like Dannii Minogue telling you you're really talented - and if there's one person in the room who wouldn't know talent if it kicked them in the a*** it's Dannii Minogue. You spend a year slogging around the country and then what? You can't go back to Barnsley and be a check-out girl 'cos that would look bad. So you end up either trying to be an actress or trying to sustain your profile by going on celebrity shows.
He continued. "Instead of instant fame and celebrity and all your ex-boyfriends and girlfriends coming out of the cupboard and your family being ripped apart, the prize ought to be, 'I'll introduce you to someone who might introduce you to someone who might, if you're very lucky, know a producer who'd record one of your songs'. That's the only way to make any money. Otherwise you sell five million records and earn 50 grand."
Noel then wrapped up his monolgue with a pop at Her Madgesty, pointing out that her gym routine beggars belief. "Madonna has all the money in the world and yet she still works out six hours a day. Six hours! In a gym! You sleep for eight, right - so that's 14 gone already. What do you do with your one hour off?" Probably a lot more than Noel does, his soapbox routine is punishing....