Andre offensive

There was a time in the not too distant past (actually, a couple of days ago) that Peter Andre was making headlines for all the right reasons. He was a model dad who objected to his kids having silly haircuts. He kept a diginified silence (well, sort of - he only gave a few dozen interviews) about his ex wife's marriage to a tranny. Then he played his trump card: he cried on live tv. The nation wept. Did anyone not feel his pain?

Sadly, all that great work has gone to pot. His stylist, Maddy Ford, who he was discreetly bonking as the ink dried on his divorce papers, sold her story to the papers. Jordan took the opportunity to be furious saying that Pete was not 'whiter than white'. She is now threatening to destroy him in yet another autobiography, (how much life has the woman lived?)

Unfortunately for her, Pete has already scribbled an apology for the affair in his Now! column - and it's a sincere, heartfelt one: 'I explained very carefully to her [Maddy] that I wasn't ready for anything serious with anyone and she said she was fine with that. We were only intimate on a handful of occasions and we didn't even go on any dates. I decided to put a stop to things when it became clear that the goal posts had changed and Maddy's feelings had too. I didn't want to lead her on or hurt her in any way.I was therefore really shocked and disappointed that she decided to sell her story as I really thought she knew the score from the start and that we were both just in it for the same reasons. What is it with me and the wrong women?!'

Awww, all is forgiven. The moral of the story: tarnishing Pete's good name is easy; winning once he makes an apology is not. We predict another televised blub....

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