Andre and Pricey in black-eye barney

For the sake of top quality journalism, we're relieved that these weekly spats occur in the troubled lives of Britain's most desperate celebrities - Andre, Reid and Pricey. For if they didn't, what on earth would they all write about in their weekly columns for OK and Star magazines?

In the latest bit of strife, Andre called in the lawyers after seeing his daughter Princess's black eye - which turned out in the end to be nothing to worry about. But not before the cops turned up, and a tabloid column war ensued. Reid 'wrote':'Princess left our care in perfect, happy health, so we were extremely concerned to be told she had bruises and two black eyes. As anyone in their right mind would do, I immediately contacted the police. After examining Princess, the police sergeant told us there was no bruising on Princess that a two-year-old wouldn't have from simply being a toddler, and she definitely didn't have any black eyes. Despite being relaxed, me and Kate were very miffed about the experience.'

While Andre told OK magazine: 'There was absolutely no need for (the police) to come round, and when they did they said everything was fine. I just made a polite inquiry about my daughter that got completely out of hand.'

Well boys, at least it generated more pointless columns, which is the most important thing, eh?

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