And it burns burns burns....

Jordan is set to be burned at the stake during this weekend’s bonfire parties, but don’t worry, she’s not being dragged off by a gang of toughs dressed as women before being slowly char-grilled to medium rare perfection, Wickerman-style; it’s merely those wacky residents of Edenbridge in Kent doing their yearly topical ‘guy’. Those crazy cats.

This year it’s the glamour model’s turn to be turned into a 27ft effigy which melts ghoulishly into the inferno as bratty children demand candy floss. Jordan is going to be wearing her classic uniform of jodhpurs, riding boots and pink low-cut top, while grasping The Sun and OK! in one hand, and the disembodied heads of Peter Andre and Alex Reid in the other.

While this might be just a touch cringe-worthy and attention seeking, at least it won’t be what’s going on in Lewes, where thousands of people will party while demonstrating against Catholicism and waving anti-papal placards around like it’s the 15th Century. ‘There wasn't anybody else in the frame apart from Jordan,’ said Edenbridge Bonfire Society organiser Charles Laver. ‘I'm pleased with the result and I'm sure others will be too.’

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