A long bun in the oven

According to reports based on witness statements from diners at Strada restaurant in Soho (we get all our best stories from them), Abbey Clancy is pregnant with Peter Crouch's child. Ouch. The WAG told diners at the Italian chain that she is 12 weeks pregnant with a baby boy.

A source told The Sun, 'Abbey said she asked if a nurse could see a willy and she said she thought she could. Abbey also said she liked the name Johnny. She said, 'She's the expert. She said she could see what it is now which means it must be a boy. I reckon it's probably a boy. She said it's so perfect.'

Congratulations Abbey, but could you in future find some more articulate sources to give quotes to the tabloids please? Thanks.

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