A Cole in one

The wait's over, Cheryl has definitely been appointed US X Factor judge, so all that 'Sinitta role' gossip was absolute rubbish. Pah, we've stopped trusting the tabloids. Anyway, our Cheryl will leave our shores for good, only popping back to pick up bottles of Newcastle Brown in her armoured limousine. Sob.

Cheryl told The Sun, 'I'm so excited. I absolutely love finding new talent and helping them grow, so this is very exciting for me to take part in. It's going be very different for me from our British version just because America is so huge and the age range on X Factor is going to open it up to age 12 to age 80. But talent is talent no matter where in the world you're from. That's one of the special things about it. Talent doesn't have a class or an accent or a country, it's a gift - and I love finding that in people.'

Ta-rah Chezza, it was nice knowing you...

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